An actual conversation I just had:

Customer:
Do you do mobile locks?

me:
Excuse me?

Customer:
Do you do mobile locks?

me:
Well, we're a mobile locksmith company... (?)

Customer:
Yeah.

me:
Ummm, what is it you need to have done? Can you describe what you mean by mobile locks?

Customer:
The car! You know!

me:
Uh...

Customer:
The ignition! The ignition!!!

me:
Ummm... Ok, are you having ignition problems?

Customer:
NO! The keys man, the keys.

me:
Ahhh! Do you need keys made? What did you mean about the ignition?

Customer:
Yeah, the ignition.

me:
The keys don't work IN the ignition?

Customer:
How do I know if they do or not? They did before...

me:
Ummm... Do you need a new ignition? Are you having mechanical problems with the lock? Describe to me what's going on...

Customer:
*sigh* I can't find my keys you know.

me:
Ok... So you need keys made?

Customer:
Well, yeah, duh! I said that! I asked you if you did mobile locks!

me:
(Frantically looking for any loose Xanax in the bottom of my purse)
Ok, what kind of car is it?

Customer:
It's green...

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